Online Shmonline

This ain't your grandma's dating scene!

As many people know (particularly straight women), the dating scene these days ain't what it used to be.  Going out with your friends to the local bar, pub, club, bowling alley or pool hall is less likely to offer up dateable men looking for a meaningful relationship.  Instead we get slurred come-ons, drinks spilled on us, and instead of polite introductions, men make acquaintances with you by simply grinding their pelvis against you before even asking your name.  These are the calling cards of the modern man.  No I'm not saying EVERY SINGLE MAN in the world today is like this. But let's face it, a vast majority who go out socially at night are.

So what does a single looking to mingle do as an alternative?  We enter the confusing world of online dating.  I have used a few sites when I lived in the States.  Even had a fairly decent boyfriend who I'd met off Match.com.  Granted that was maybe 5 years ago but I didn't think much had changed since then.  After moving to Australia, a roommate I had in Brisbane suggested I give it a try in Oz.  So off I ventured down the rabbit hole of international online dating.  Here's a run down of the general experience so far:

eharmony - Sure you might find your perfect match based on their "scientifically proven" algorithm, but I initially started the 80 page questionnaire several years ago while still living in the States.  You can't just retake the test.  You have to somehow convince them that they should let you redo the test which is a huge hassle.  Quite frankly that thing took me years to complete and I don't want to do it again.  Plus you can't see a single image on anyone's profile without paying for a membership.  You can communicate all you want but you have no idea what the person you're speaking to looks like.  They might be sweet, caring and funny but  look like this dude in real life:

Match.com - While this site worked fairly well for me in the States, it's not so great here in Australia.  That in part may be because I was willing to pay for a membership in America. As I'm still a poor uni student here in Australia, I refuse to shell out money for online dating.  A step up from eharmony, you can look at the pictures on people's profiles.  However you can't see who's viewed you, likes your profile or read any emails sent to you without paying.  So it's essentially useless to communicate with anyone on there.  It's basically only good if you just want to perv on pics of people without paying to talk to them.

RSVP - Much better site than the previous two.  Basically you can look at profiles, see pics and even contact people without paying.  That catch though is that you have to buy "stamps" if you want to write an open email to someone.  You can initiate contact with someone by use of "kisses" which are pre-written brief messages stating your interest.  However no one can write more than the various "kiss" options until one of you purchases a "stamp" and then uses it to write an open email.  Now if someone decides to purchase a stamp and email you, then you can both communicate freely.  Which is great unless you want to initiate the contact.  This has left a few opportunities dead in the water if I tried to initiate because again, I refuse to spend money for online dating.  Have had a few potentials off this site but only one that looked super promising.

 

Oasis - Completely free.  Look all you want and contact who you want.  Once catch which actually isn't bad, you can't send open email until the person accepts you as a contact.  Kind of like friend requests on Facebook.  Helps to weed out the wackos from contacting you.  Unfortunately it also means you can't talk to those you find attractive until they allow you to and accept you as a contact.  Still not a bad option though.  Down side of this site?  Mostly dudes looking for a one-nighter.  Or a multi-nighter but nothing more than cheap sex.  No relationship required.  Ironically though I did meet my last boyfriend off this site.  He was one of the few actually looking for a relationship.

PoF (Plenty of Fish) - My most recent site membership.  Also completely free and there seems to be a much higher return rate on this site as well.  Have had lots of contacts and many conversations.  Even had a few dates off this site already.  So far this one has had the best results to date.  However it's only been a few weeks so we'll see what happens in the long run.  Still get the occasional offer for cheap sex though but they seem to be less creepy that the ones on Oasis.

 

So that's where we're at in the world of online dating so far.  This was just an overview to give you an idea of what I've been working with.  I'll go into more detail of specific posts later but this will give you a glimpse of what my online options have been to date.  With any luck, this blog will be short lived because I'll have finally found him.  Sadly I don't see that as being the case.